Cat's in the cradle

A guy by the name of Harry Chapin wrote a song about being a dad. It just happens to be one of the most profound songs I've ever heard. It's about a man who has a son, and he never seems to be able to find enough time to spend with his boy. As a child the boy wants to be so much like his dad that he emulates his every move. But at every turn there's always so much for the dad to do that he constantly tells his son that they will get together "soon." Not now, but "soon."

As all boys do, the son gets older. He graduates from college and eventually has a family of his own. The dad (Harry Chapin) is retired and longs to spend some time with his grown up son. However, the tables are turned, and son is the one with bills to pay and a job to work. He takes on his dad's montra, and tells him that they will get together soon. The dad then laments in the final verse, "and as I hung up the phone, it occured to me...my boy was just like me...the boy was just like me". Something about that song gets me every time. It makes me proud, sad and scared at the same time.

My boy Pog has been wearing button-down shirts and ties to school lately. He says it's because he wants to dress like me. You already know, this is the stuff that dreams are made of. Of course this has me thinking that I'm the shit, and I plan on going to the store with him this week to beef up his tie collection. I can't have him out here looking like Poindexter, or like one of these dudes who has no clue as to how to put together a basic shirt and tie combo. But I digress...

It is so gratifying to have a son that thinks I'm the man. I love it when he says things like, "Dad knows what he's doing" or "Dad doesn't forget things" with unshakeable certainty. Like Harry Chapin, I think that one day I will hang up the phone with my son and say to myself, "he grew up just like me." I keep it in mind that someday my boy will be a man and there is a pretty good chance that he will have many of the same characteristics that I have. I continue to be amazed at how quickly they grow up, and I fear that it will all happen just as quickly as a four-minute song. There is no way to stop time or to even to slow it down. I'm not even sure if it's worth trying.

For most kids, a time comes when boys don't think their dads are so cool anymore. There's a time when they realize that their dads are regular people and that they don't always know what their doing. There will come a day when he realizes that I forget things and that I don't always know the answers. I pray that when that day comes, it's not too much of a shock (for him or for me). I sincerely hope that our relationship is one that leaves room for imperfections and for mistakes. I tell him that he doesn't need to be like me. Rather he needs to be better than me. But I have to be honest. My heart is full when he gives me a look that says, "How is that possible? It doesn't get any better than you." I know it's selfish, but for now I will take it.