On the road heading back to Memphis after a glorious week in Ohio. Lori's driving, Maxwell is singing about being in love, and the kids are sleeping soundly in the back. It's peaceful and today is one of those days when I feel like we're just one big happy family. I like how this feels...something like a fairytale.
A few days ago, I sat in my Aunt Marsha's (actually Lori's aunt) kitchen, eating grits and scrambled eggs, drinking coffee. I listened to her talk about how her dad used to drive the family to Alabama when she was a kid. She talked about how much fun they had visiting their cousins and how they looked forward to seeing them every year. Marsha said that it was important for the kids to know each other..."they have to know their family, otherwise they will be lost.". This resonated with me, because when Lori and I chased our dreams we left some very valuable things behind. My cousins are having kids and building beautiful families.
They say that life goes on, and that time waits for no man. But these cliches aren't so useful when I'm trying to convince myself that it's ok that my kids don't know their cousins. Baby d doesn't know her aunts and uncles as well as she should, and she barely remembers my grandmother. We are disconnected, and I can't help but to think that in some ways we are lost. It's a long road back to Memphis...
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I had my first child at the age of 20. I did everything wrong and somehow it all turned out right. I'm now 30 years old and holding it down with a family of 6 (including a step-son), two dogs and an outlandish car payment. It's not always pretty, it's not the Huxtables, and I'm certainly not Cliff! I do my best every day to get it right. Sometimes I fail and sometimes I hit it out of the park. Through it all I vow to keep it 100.
1 comment:
That's deep, but real. But never fear. I am a product of a family who placed opportunities in front of me that unfortunately conflicted with family weddings/funerals/reunions every summer. Therefore, I ended up not establishing relationships with my cousins until my late teens. The point is, I still established them. Technology helps too. Facebook is the best for staying in contact with friends, and it works the same for family. And then there's skype too. Example: Some of my cousins hipped me to another cousin of mine, Robyn in NY, who I never knew about. We connected on FB about 6 months ago. I had the chance to visit NY last month, Robyn & I linked up, and it was all good. So, never fear!
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