caution: 5th grade is coming for you

On the way to work Friday morning, Kenzer and I engaged in a conversation. I use that term loosely, because she's in the fifth grade. I'm not saying that 5th graders are not intellectually developed enough for conversation, but I am convinced that they are mentally unstable. For the past few months I've noticed some things about my 5th grade daughter.

1. She is nuts.
2. She is emotional.
3. She seems to care about who is friends with whom more than anything in the world.
4. I have no clue how to deal with any of it.

So we're driving to work and I ask her,

"What happened to Sidney?"

"What? Nothing happened to Sidney?" She knows what I'm talking about, but remember, she's in the fifth grade. Everything must remain cryptic.

"Why don't you guys hang out anymore?"

"We hang out sometimes." Again, she sidesteps me.

"Ok, but you don't talk about her anymore or go over her house. Is something up?"

"She hates Sidney!" Mack chimes in. I'm surprised he can hear us talking over his blaring headphones.

"Why don't you guys hang out anymore?" I ask.

"I don't know." The classic answer that really means, "I don't want to talk about it."

"What do you mean you don't know? Are you involved in the situation, or are we talking about somebody else? How can you NOT know when you are one of the people we're talking about?"

Crickets...she just sits there. At this point, I think back on the days when my dad would say things like, "Don't ask me for shit" when he got mad. I think about how when I was her age, I couldn't even think about getting a ride to school everyday. I think about all the money I'm pouring into this damned tuition and I can't even get a decent conversation. I have the urge to pop my first-born child in the mouth. I imagine saying all sorts of things that my dad used to say back in the day. But I tell myself it's not that big of a deal.

I decide to sit back and turn up 88.5 to let the smooth grooves of Teddy P take me into work. The next time I see Kenzer in school that day she gives me a big hug. She buries her head in my mid-section (in front of her friends by the way) and says, "I love you daddy."

5th graders are not right. That's the bottom line. What I'm trying to figure out is which battles I'm supposed to fight. For now, I'm trying to focus on the main things, like honesty, character, integrity. Work hard, be nice...things like that. I sprinkle in a little extra at times, but everyday is different. As kids get older, nothing really goes according to the plan. But one thing that never changes is the love. I approach every day with her waiting for the unexpected. She does not disappoint.